In Which I am Goldilocks

Well, a failed Goldilocks, because I can't seem to get to "just right."

Let me back up: When it comes to my own health and well-being, I'm like, "Whatevs, it's probably fine." But when it comes to my horses, I'm an enormous worrier. I can never believe that things are going to be fine. This morning was Panic About Lex Time.

First, she seemed a little quiet yesterday, as I said. Then this morning, when I went out to feed the horses, she didn't come up. She always comes up, even though she doesn't get fed. I got the other horses in, quietly freaking out, and then marched out into the field to find her. There she was, eating grass, looking just fine. I brought her up and groomed her, and she just looked kind of dull on the cross-ties. I decided to scrap lunging and ring work and just hack around the field, and she did great. She had to be gently convinced to trot, but once we got through a couple transitions, she found a nice rhythm and enjoyed stretching again. She definitely seemed happier riding than she had while tacking up, and she ate her soaked hay cubes just fine.

I don't know. I am a worrier, and part of me thinks it's impossible that I get to keep this awesome horse. I've felt like this with pretty much every animal I've ever acquired. When I got my Italian greyhound, Eddie, six years ago, I couldn't handle being away from him for more than a couple hours. I was sure something would go horribly wrong, but he's just fine. He's lying next to me right now. After I get Ella the WonderLab, I convinced myself that this horrible woman in my apartment complex was going to call animal control because Ella barked at her, and that she'd be taken away. I am paranoid to death about my cats running out the door. I know I need to relax. If Lex was being a hot-headed fizz-machine, I'd also be worried about that. Where is "just right"?

I don't know her well yet - it hasn't even been two months. Maybe she gets quieter in the heat, or maybe she thinks tacking up is beyond boring, or maybe she needs a change in routine. Or maybe this is just who she is! We have a lesson tomorrow with Chris, so we'll see what he has to say.

I just want her to be happy.

In other news: HAPPY ONE-MONTH BIRTHDAY, ROCKET!!!!! Mom sent me some cute pictures.

Sun-bathin'

awwwwwwwwwwwww

She is getting SO TALL!

Mom's vet and farrier saw her yesterday and both thought she looks great, but that she doesn't need grain at the moment because she's growing so fast, and we don't want her to grow too fast. They think she'll be over 17hh when she's mature, so that'll be interesting! Mom reports that she's been an excellent student and handled her first de-worming like a pro. What a good baby.

Send calming thoughts my way, please! I'll try to channel my tendencies to worry in another direction. Like maybe my stupid dissertation, which would probably love any attention I could give it.