Let me back up: When it comes to my own health and well-being, I'm like, "Whatevs, it's probably fine." But when it comes to my horses, I'm an enormous worrier. I can never believe that things are going to be fine. This morning was Panic About Lex Time.
First, she seemed a little quiet yesterday, as I said. Then this morning, when I went out to feed the horses, she didn't come up. She always comes up, even though she doesn't get fed. I got the other horses in, quietly freaking out, and then marched out into the field to find her. There she was, eating grass, looking just fine. I brought her up and groomed her, and she just looked kind of dull on the cross-ties. I decided to scrap lunging and ring work and just hack around the field, and she did great. She had to be gently convinced to trot, but once we got through a couple transitions, she found a nice rhythm and enjoyed stretching again. She definitely seemed happier riding than she had while tacking up, and she ate her soaked hay cubes just fine.
I don't know. I am a worrier, and part of me thinks it's impossible that I get to keep this awesome horse. I've felt like this with pretty much every animal I've ever acquired. When I got my Italian greyhound, Eddie, six years ago, I couldn't handle being away from him for more than a couple hours. I was sure something would go horribly wrong, but he's just fine. He's lying next to me right now. After I get Ella the WonderLab, I convinced myself that this horrible woman in my apartment complex was going to call animal control because Ella barked at her, and that she'd be taken away. I am paranoid to death about my cats running out the door. I know I need to relax. If Lex was being a hot-headed fizz-machine, I'd also be worried about that. Where is "just right"?
I don't know her well yet - it hasn't even been two months. Maybe she gets quieter in the heat, or maybe she thinks tacking up is beyond boring, or maybe she needs a change in routine. Or maybe this is just who she is! We have a lesson tomorrow with Chris, so we'll see what he has to say.
|I just want her to be happy.|
|She is getting SO TALL!|
Send calming thoughts my way, please! I'll try to channel my tendencies to worry in another direction. Like maybe my stupid dissertation, which would probably love any attention I could give it.