Book Review: Share and Share Alike

Like a few other bloggers, I was contacted by Hannah Hooton to review her new novel, Share and Share Alike, a romance novel set around steeplechase in England.

In many ways, I'm not really the ideal reader for this novel. I'm queer and generally sick of heteronormative love stories. I'm also, as I've said before, kind of a Vulcan. I don't do sentiment and I'm not really sure that humans speak to each other the way movies would have us think. I also have my eyes open for horse-related errors in novels set around equines.

Here's what I did like about the novel: It's quite readable. I got through it in about two days. None of the horse stuff left me clutching my forehead. I don't know anything about hurdlers, so someone in that world might have a better idea than I do about what's right and wrong here. The writing is good and didn't have me cringing at sentence construction.

Here's what I didn't like so much about it: First and most importantly, there's quite a bit of racism and xenophobia directed towards Roma people. The author uses words like "gypsy" and "pikies" related to them (and no Romani are characters in the story, just distant troublemakers who get snarled about by the nice rich English people). It's one thing to put these words in the mouths of loathsome characters to show how detestable they are, but in this case, it's coming from one of the more sympathetic characters in the book, and is entirely uncomplicated by anyone else. This character says things like, "Damned gypsies in the area again, out poaching our rabbits" (98) and "It was those goddamned pikies [...] Well, they're going to pay for this" (237).

I can't endorse a book with this kind of slur just sitting there. And anything dealing with the Romani is irrelevant to the book. The author could have left that out and nothing would have changed.

And no, it is not okay to say "gypsy." Here is an article that explains why. This excerpt is especially useful:

The term "gypsy" is a non-preferred and often derogatory term for Roma people. For those of you who aren't aware of anti-Roma bigotry, the Roma are an indigenous people of Europe who continue to be pushed from nation to nation and mistreated. They are frequently denied legal status and therefore social services. There are many stereotypes about the Roma, but the most predominant is that they are all sociopathic drifters who steal children and anything else that isn't tied down.

Like many ethnic minorities who have been deprived of legal means to support themselves and their families, the Roma have a high crime rate. This fact is used as an excuse to continue to discriminate against Romani people. The fact that many Romani people choose to "live apart" as a direct result of centuries of bigotry is also used against them.

 Okay, we cool on that point?

 Beyond that, I hated the main character. I mean, she cares about the horse she's part-owner of, and has a couple friends she's kind to. She's not a total monster. But her actions and motivations made no sense to me, and her behavior around the primary love interest baffled me, except that they seemed pretty typical for a character in a story like this. I get grossed out by things like women thinking they need a man to be bigger than they are, as though that is what really matters in the world, and this character brought it up enough that if I knew her in real life I'd be like ENOUGH. ALREADY. But I wouldn't be friends with her in real life, because I'm an intellectual and this character hates intellectuals.

The plot itself is predictable. If you've seen a movie before, you'll see where it's heading pretty quickly. In more ways than one, it's very Pride and Prejudice, and self-consciously so. This is not a high point for me, as I'm not an Austen fan. Also--and this is not a spoiler--don't give a character a name like Sin and then have the main character be fighting off the temptation of his "sex god" presence the whole time. That's ham-fisted.

This might be your thing, if you like formulaic love stories and beach reads. If so, you could buy it here or here or in paperback here. If overt racism bothers you, or if a mere nod to feminist principles that are thrown away at the drop of a hat will cause you to roll your eyes, skip it.

Back to the Drawing Board

Lex is driving me to drink. Good thing I love her so much.

We spent several days trying to get the mare to walk ("waaaaaaalk, Lex. Just waaaaalk"). Then in a lesson the other day, we had some fantastic trot work. I mean, mind-blowing, gonna-win-the-dressage trot. Yesterday was kind of eh, but I'd gotten smacked in the face by my mom's horse so hard that I can't quite remember what happened, so I blamed myself for that lackluster ride. But today, it was explosion time again.

I was in a lesson, thank god, and M was right there to see the drama unfolding. Eventually, she got on her, and the mare lost her mind. Bucking, rearing, the works.

So we've got a vet appointment for Monday. I don't know what I'm going to do if she has a chronic medical condition. I'd prefer a training problem, to be honest. There aren't many better riders than Mary, plus we have a good cowboy trainer on hand who I totally trust, and I can sit through a lot of garbage. But I don't have a ton of money, and I'll always do what's right for her, so I'll have to figure something out.

I'm trying not to get too spun out about this now. Fingers crossed for the big mare, please. I'll just be over here with this bottle of whiskey and my tears.

There was a little girl
With a little... um, star
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good, she was very very good,
But when she was bad,
She was horrid.

VCBH Blog Hop: Unpopular Opinions

I've been out of the blog hop loop, what with lack of real internet and everything, but I have MANY unpopular opinions. Here is a short list, tied together by evidence. I am not a sentimental or romantic person in any way. I don't think horse training is cosmic. I don't think good intentions make any difference at all in the end. So for me, logic rules. I suppose I'm a Vulcan. But here goes, three reasons you can hate me:

1. Research-based medicine, every time. Homeopathic cures, acupuncture, even chiro: there is no research here. These are probably harmless most of the time, but they're also risking the transferred placebo effect, so the horse's problem (if there's actually a problem) may not be solved. Same goes for 99% of feed-through joint supplements, aloe juice (cracks me up every time), etc. Go read Dr. David Ramey's blog, where he discusses what the evidence does and does not show for just about everything. Anecdotal evidence is not data.

2. Gadgets are delightful if they are used correctly. Draw reins, standing martingales, running martingales, and a whole lot of non-snaffle bits are fine if the rider is skilled. Otherwise, they are razors in the hands of monkeys. On the flip side of this coin, I've observed that a lot of people who use bitless bridles on green horses haven't gotten their horses broke to the bit yet, and have given up, thinking their horse is a special butterfly, when really, he just needs to be educated. That said, if everyone is safe and happy and no one's nose is getting unduly hauled on by the bitless contraption, no material harm is being done with them.

Our only XC school was in draw reins.
We walked up to some logs and hopped over them.
Should I give her aloe juice to help her overcome the trauma?

3. Everyone in the world needs riding lessons. And even if they have riding lessons, I don't think green riders should have green horses. We all know the "green-on-green leads to black-and-blue" thing, but a lot of people seem to assume it doesn't apply to them. It probably does, and even if you don't end up in the dirt a lot, you're bound to confuse the horse and yourself sometimes. Green riders don't have the confidence in their aids to keep asking the same way over and over until the horse gets it, and they keep changing the rules so the horse can't ever figure it out.

Have fun eviscerating me in the comments. Here is a cute picture of my nephew practicing his ponying skillz to ease the blow.

Tack Review, Kind Of: Antarés Jumping Saddle

Y'all, I can't believe I rode in that Crosby so long. I had no idea.

I've had that particular saddle for 17 years. Before that, I had a smaller Crosby. My wonderful friend Dorrie, who was basically my third parent and is responsible for me getting show miles and falling in love with jumpers, only had a tack room full of Crosbies. I had literally never ridden in anything else until I started teaching at the lesson barn from hell last year and occasionally had to hop on a horse who had a Collegiate or a Wintec on.

Then one day Tracy let me ride the wonderful Miles, and she'd just gotten her Prestige Meredith. That was the first high-quality saddle I'd ever sat in. It was too small for me because I've got freakish conformation, but it was so nice. That planted a kernel in my brain: Maybe, just maybe, there is something to nice saddles. Maybe, someday, I could own one myself.

I made a deal with myself: when I get tenure, I'll get a new (used) saddle. A CWD, Devoucoux, or Antarés. Or maybe a Prestige! I'd enjoyed Tracy's, after all. Well, maybe I don't have to wait until I get tenure. Maybe just when I get a real job. Or maybe just when I've saved up the money.

Then Lex started bucking and rearing and generally being a pig. It was ulcers, of course, but the point remained: the Crosby wasn't helping me at all. I'd joked many times that it was just a piece of leather to hold the stirrups on, and that's true. It was hard and slippery, and wasn't gonna help me over the big jumps. M rode in it one day and was like, "This thing has got to go." (She rides in a Smith-Worthington, for what it's worth, and I think she has Devoucoux dreams.)

So then it became, I really need a new saddle now. SprinklerBandit enabled, as she does, thank god. I had a pretty low budget, even with my mom's help, so I wasn't super optimistic. I tried a couple: an Antarés that fit Lex perfectly and didn't fit me (I need a very forward flap), a Devoucoux that fit me great and didn't fit her at all. And then I just happened to check frenchusedsaddles.com, and they just happen to be about an hour from me. And they had a very well-loved but quite usable Antarés in a 17.5" (my smallest possible size) and a 5AAA flap--as forward/long as a flap gets.

Tada!

Here, it's on my mom's horse, not mine. For some reason, I haven't done a good job getting a picture of it on Lex.

I wasn't quite sure at first: I'd heard that Antarés tips people forward sometimes. I have enough problems with that on my own. But after a couple of rides in it, I'm totally sold. It really helps me out. When things go pear-shaped during a ride, it's like, "Hang in there, buddy. We're in this together." Whereas the Crosby was like, "See ya on the flip siiiiiiide!"

The saddle is full calfskin, which is an adjustment. I'm pretty constantly worried about scratching it, especially putting it on the saddle racks, because the flaps are so forward that they're likely to get scratched on the wall. My Smartpak lined leathers (pictured above) would probably have been fine but I decided to get used Antarés leathers on eBay just to be sure. But I know everyone loves calfskin, so I'm doing my best to stop worrying and love the softness.

Now, of course, I have to stop myself from buying All the Antarés Accessories. I no longer have a tack budget for the year. Please remind me of that. The good news is, Lex wouldn't look so good in an Antarés bridle, so I can't buy one of those.

Before I panic myself about my financial state (which is just fine, if I don't buy any more crap), I'll wrap up this review by saying that I am thrilled to pieces with the new saddle and can't wait to ride my horses in it.

Get Jiggy Wid It

SORRY, couldn't help it.

M, in all of her wonderfulness, gave me a lesson this morning even though she just got back from vacation and I'm sure she'd rather have been weeding or something else to catch up around the farm. I'm so grateful, because it was a very productive lesson. I have a few pictures that weren't from this lesson. My mom came out a week and a half ago and took them for me. That was a better day than today.

As I mentioned the other day, Lex is soooo not into walking. Halt or jig or trot (and the trot is mostly pretty sticky and not great). She is trying to stay behind my leg. Given our recent issues with being nappy and bucking, I am not enthusiastic about this. When I was in Ohio, D always told me "softly forward in front of the leg." She was right, and Lex is not doing that. M reminded me that Lex is not broke to my leg yet, and so that is now the primary goal.

Walking like a normal horse.

The picture above shows how I would like her to walk right now. Calm, forward, stretching through her neck. It's not an A+ walk, but it's good for warming up and cooling out. In an ideal world, she'd be stepping up under herself more and swinging. But I'd take this walk today, believe me.

Today M told me we were just going to work on the walk and nothing else. Despite my love of jumping all the things, I really enjoy these kinds of foundational exercises. We got on a circle to the left and walked on a loose rein until the behavior started. Essentially, I'm to be very clear and not take any shit from the mare. She can't shut down and halt, and she can't tense up and jig. She can walk nicely and on contact. If she is doing that, I soften at the elbows and praise her. If not, I use voice commands in addition to leg and hand to insist that she go where I want her to.

Fashion mane!

The walk is mine, and I get to tell her when to do it. The mare has to follow those orders. When she halts or jigs, she is refusing to use her back and step under. She CAN use her back and step under. She has done it before. But right now, she's saying no. There is nothing physically wrong with her, believe me. When there is, she tries to kill me, hee. Today it was just like, "I don't WANNA." She's testing boundaries like the adolescent she is, and I need to do a better job getting her to respect my leg aids.

"My rider sure is a dum-dum sometimes
but at least she knows where the carrots are."

 We're in a somewhat difficult phase right now, but this is not the first snag we've hit. Not by a long shot. And we've always pushed through. So here's where I stand on this whole thing now, as a benchmark and clarifying exercise:

1. Lex is a fabulous horse. She is brilliant and talented and athletic. I am lucky to own her.

2. I am not afraid of her or intimidated by her, though I am sometimes annoyed. I am definitely not overmounted. M said once, "I am not teaching you how to ride, I'm teaching you how to ride this horse. If I had to teach you to ride, this would be inappropriate." She explicitly agrees that Lex is not too much horse for me, and that it will be rewarding to get through all this nonsense (which I would not get through as effectively without M).

3. She is green, though. When she has more buttons installed, she will be easier to ride, because I will have more options for responding. Sometimes with this shit, the only way past it is through.

4. Given that, there will always be something with her. Any time we introduce her to something new, whether it's using her back or trot poles or whatever, she will be like WHAT THE FUCK and fall behind my leg. My challenge will be to keep her moving forward WITHOUT throwing her head up in the air. This will become easier when she's more broke, as I said.

Remember this?

 I wrote a whole thing about owning a horse like Lex and removed it. I might retool it and publish it as its own thing. But the bottom line is this: She's not for everyone, and I'm lucky to have the help I've had and continue to have with her. To ride a horse like her, you've got to want it, and I totally do. Happy horse owner here, even on the tough days. She is so worth it.

Tack Review: Ogilvy Jumper Memory Foam Half Pad

I'm not usually one to spend money on tack trends. I only very recently ditched the Crosby. I skipped the Thinline craze, I'm staying out of the ongoing Micklem obsession, I don't use ear plugs, I am not a fan this long ponytail thing some jumper riders are wearing, colored stirrups give me a migraine, can't get into "bling" anything, I think people should only use white saddle pads to show, and I REALLY hate "trendy" jumper jackets. (Also, get off my lawn.) (Also, if you use any/all of the things I hate, believe me, I still love you.)

But sometimes the thing that's trendy does make sense to me or appeals to me in some way, and right now that thing is Ogilvy half pads. They're memory foam, so they don't wear out, and the cover is machine washable (I have not washed mine yet). The idea is that the foam compresses where it needs to and fills in where it needs to so that the saddle has a nice, uniform feel to the horse's back. These come in 1 1/4" (standard) and 1" thickness. I got the 1 1/4".

I enjoyed making a real grown-up salary for a few months, and while I squirreled away most of what I had left after normal living expenses, I did buy Lex a couple new things--a new bit, a new standing martingale, and this half pad. I purchased the half pad knowing that in this market, I could sell it for nearly full price. It takes 5ever to get them from Ogilvy and everyone wants one, so I wasn't too worried.

What it costs:  $199 from Ogilvy Equestrian
What I paid: Full price (gulp)

One night, fueled by a glass of wine, I went ahead and ordered it with the grey quilting, baby blue piping, and navy binding. Then I went to bed and tried to remind myself that I rarely go out to eat and never buy new clothes for myself so this one thing is justifiable RIGHT?!

The minute I sat in my (old, flat) saddle, I could feel a difference. It made my saddle feel a lot more comfortable--for me. Was it more comfortable for Lex? I don't really know! I asked her but she was like, GIMME THAT CARROT and I couldn't get her to give me a straight answer. It did not take her from a sensitive green OTTB mare to a stunning perfect dressage horse who uses all her muscles correctly overnight, but I didn't expect it to. The only thing that's going to turn her into a horse who uses all her muscles correctly is proper training. And when I bought the Antares, I was even happier to have it because the tree is just a touch wide for her but the Ogilvy puts it where it needs to be.

She don't care about no stinkin' half pad.

Pros:

• It's very pretty to look at and I'm a little bit of a sucker for custom colors.

• It did make my old saddle feel more comfy from the rider's perspective and it makes my new saddle fit better.

• No weird sweat patterns on Lex's back, so I'm guessing it's doing what it says it's doing?

Cons:

• You MUST tighten your girth after you get on, maybe more than once. All that cushy foam is gonna compress when you add a human's weight to it. I always tighten my girth after a lap or two of the ring anyway so whatevsies.

• Price--these suckers are not cheap. But they're cheaper than a new saddle or getting yours restuffed to fit.

• It takes a bazillion years (or six weeks) to get it from Ogilvy. Not really that big a deal. If you're going to a big horse show you can probably snag one from their booth, but you won't be able to do custom color options. I talked to the Ogilvy guy at Rolex and he said they're working on adding to their manufacturing staff to decrease the wait time a bit.

Overall, I like it quite a bit. But I think that we could all live without them so no reason to give up groceries to buy one. If you have a little spending money and this is what you want, I'd wager that you will not be disappointed.

If it Ain't Broke

...don't ride it?

Juuuuuust kidding. Ride it a lot.

The animal drama, y'all. I don't even know where to start.

Lex: The Horse Who Ain't Broke

Always got somethin' to say.

 This little butthead is not currently bucking, but she is also not walking. You may choose from this menu of options: Jig, Trot, or Halt. She'd probably gallop too, but I haven't asked as I am not prepared to shed this mortal coil.

M is out of town (has been for the past week and a half, but she is back late Saturday night which means that Sunday I am attacking her for a lesson if I have to). I've had some good rides on the mare, but the last three have been less than fun. I think it might be because I'm not riding her long enough, so each day she's like a fresh new horse. But I also haven't been wanting to pick fights, because I'm riding a horse alone on the farm who recently lost her marbles. I always quit when I'm ahead, and I'm telling myself that the ring footing is hard right now and I don't want to work her too much on that anyway. Tomorrow, if the projected storms stay out of the way, I'm going to lunge her for awhile and then ride her. It should rain and soften the footing, so I won't feel bad about a longer ride. I haven't longed her in months, so it'll be good for her anyway. As Chris always said to me, you have to take the bitter with the sweet with green horses.

TJ and the Ankle that Ain't Broke

Pardon the verrrrry old pic.

 This enormous butthead about did me in the other day. I was leading him in from the paddock when my mother walked out of the barn, and he fuh-reaked out and I took a front hoof directly to the fibula. If you want to break your ankle, that's how to do it. I broke the other ankle a few years ago and that was a disaster, so I was pretty pissed off at him. I texted Tracy in hysterics until my mom could get me in for radiographs. The doctor and I were both pretty shocked that it wasn't broken. I had to use a cane and an ankle brace for a few days, which made managing two horse farms, including eight dogs, a challenge. It's still sore, but I will live, and I suppose I will not kill the horse.

Rocket and the Knees that Ain't Broke

Remember when she was this tiny?

 Rocket fell on her knees--well, flung herself on her knees, really--when she got her feet trimmed yesterday. Everyone's okay, but that was obnoxious. The vet happened to be there too (juuuuust wait) and the vet and farrier agreed that "that's draft horses." They're happy to use their bulk against you and fling themselves around and aren't particularly sensitive. If anyone has draft horse tips, let me know. This is literally my second horse who is not a TB so I have no idea what I'm doing. The farrier's advice was, "Don't give her an inch."

Ink and the Summer Heat that Just Won't Break

Favorite horse of all time.

 The vet had to come out yesterday because my 33 year old love, Ink, was not eating breakfast and also didn't want to get up in the morning. He is ancient, I know. I realize we do not get to keep him forever. But we do everything we can for him. She gave him banamine and electrolytes and I gave him a cold shower, and he perked up. Today he seems fine. But the temps have been holding steady at 90-95 and he is not loving that AT ALL. I gave all the horses showers today, and each of them seemed to really appreciate it. Rocket especially loved standing in front of our big aisle fan after her bath. Poor baby.

Grayson and the Sarcoma that, Unfortunately, Ain't Broke Either

Pardon the personal shot.

 The farrier noticed this ridiculous sarcoma on our old grey OTTB, Grayson. Grayson's in his early-mid 20s (Mom would remember but I can't) and has been retired for quite awhile because he is insane. M used to ride him and she was eventually like, "...Nope." So anyway, Mom's already battled cancer with him once, and we decided not to go through treatment or anything anymore. The vet is going to band this to see if we can cut off the blood supply and induce necrosis, but otherwise I'm not sure what is going to happen. Because he isn't being ridden and really doesn't like people, he doesn't get inspected the way the other horses do (even Ink, who hasn't been ridden in like 12 or 15 years but loves any bit of attention he can get). If the farrier hadn't been holding up a foot, I wouldn't have even tried to look at it or get a picture because I'd have been likely kicked in the head. Talk about broke. So we'll have to see what happens with that.

Toby and the Esophagus that's Very Very Broke

Pictures can be deceiving.

 Toby is my mom's 13 year old cocker spaniel. He's deaf, blind, and incontinent. And now he has megaesophagus, and we're not entirely sure why. The take-away point is that he has to be held upright to eat (canned dog food in small bites) and then for 30 minutes after eating, 3-4 times per day, and he has to drink out of elevated bowls. He also has aspiration pneumonia. That car seat arrangement looks like it's working but it isn't. I had to wrap him in belts and a sheet to keep him in there, and then he chewed through one of the belts. He is hating everything about life. I am hating everything about life. Something's got to give. My mom is on call this week and is about to be gone for five weeks so yours truly will be managing this very scary, serious, and difficult condition alone. And then what if he doesn't survive and she's gone? This is a total mess.